The Aspie #3 – Being Honest about… Where you would NOT find me (right now)

Before I go any further, I must declare now that, truth be told, I have actually never been in any of the environments I’m going to apply my Fire Triangle to. But I have seen photographs, videos, adverts and social media posts linked to them that have coloured a picture in my head regarding how these places operate in reality. I therefore expect a lot of disputes of my perceptions and pre-conceived ideas in the comments. Also, I’m going to put one-off events that can happen in these environments from time to time to one side and just focus on a general, run-of-the-mill, typical day because even though life is never black and white, if I were to consider EVERY possible thing that could happen, this post would be way too long and nothing would really get going.

Let’s start with a Nightclub. This type of building is for people to dance, drink and go nuts under flashy lights, loud music, all sorts, as far as I am aware. This has a near-guaranteed risk of me having a Meltdown. The Crowds, for one thing, would be a constant because, no matter where I would try and position myself in the building, there would always be a group of people around me. The Chaos would come from a combination of the loud music, the flashing lights and the cheering, screaming and excitable people which would not stop from the time I enter to the time I dash out a Fire Exit or something. And the Confusion stems from the fact that events might not always pan out as advertised or I might find myself getting more than I bargained for. All of this combines to ensure it is practically impossible for me to keep my wits about. And frankly, I’d much rather deliver pizzas on behalf of Builder Brothers’ Pizza than lose my head, feel claustrophobic and maybe even have a panic attack while inside a Nightclub. Ergo, and thustly, a Nightclub is definitely somewhere I would NEVER be inside of!

Another place kind of similar in scope is a Pub at full capacity. Although, it depends on several factors such as the time of day or night and if, for instance, there’s a rugby or soccer match being broadcast. Chaos here would include a lot of noise from table to table, me struggling to sustain a conversation amongst said noise and maybe the occasional person who has reached or gone beyond their alcohol limit acting crazy. Not as much in the way of Confusion here compared to a Nightclub but even so, stopping and starting a conversation with someone while other people are rowdy I always find frustrating to deal with. As well as trying to ask for something from the actual bar while a chaotic queue forms around me. On top of that, I have never drunk alcohol in my life (a post for another day) and therefore consider it pointless attending somewhere where the primary goal is to consume alcohol. Unless there is more to a pub than just that.

The next place I have in mind as a meltdown magnet, unless those who work there know otherwise, is any Sports Stadium on a Matchday. I was never a sporty person growing up. I also don’t really watch much sport live on television. Some people say the best way to watch sport is LIVE in the actual ground the games take place. But here again, there are a lot of potential flashpoints that can trigger my Fire Triangle. The most obvious one is the Crowds before, during and after a game. Chaos, again, depends on a number of factors including the crowd’s reaction to key moments in a game, the behaviour that is displayed by people at certain moments and if anything unexpected like a medical emergency or a person being removed from the stadium occurs. Confusion is nowhere near as prominent because of the presence of a Stadium Intercom System and clear signs, but it can still occur if I’m not sure where to position myself before, during or after a game, who to ask if I need directions or I need to report something, or where to go if I need to get out because the Chaos or the Crowds become too much for me to handle. The same can be said about most Music Concerts, whether indoors or outdoors, so I see no need to repeat myself there.

The last pair of places I can think of, at least right now, that may be breeding grounds for meltdowns are Theme Parks and Water Parks. I’ve put the two together because they are pretty much identical in terms of what they are as an environment. The only distinct difference is that one takes places primarily in and around water and the other mostly doesn’t. Like all the other places mentioned above, the one thing that is a constant feature is the presence of large Crowds. If it hasn’t been made obvious by now, I struggle with a lot of people congregated in a space. And being stuck in a long queue with a lot of people in front and behind me would make me really nervous, especially since I’m not the best with heights and I don’t know how to swim or cope with being in water. Added to that, the Chaos of people screaming, crying, laughing and basically being every commonly used emoji in real life. And also, the adrenaline rush that follows after being on a rollercoaster and having to carry that in my system alongside all the walking and waiting… Confusion, on the other hand, is not (or at least should not be) so prominent here because information about attractions and so on should be easily accessible on a website, or on request via e-mail, and there should be staff dotted all over who can help me if I’m lost or had enough and need a break. But even so, I find the prospect of having to contend with an avalanche of Chaos, especially on a really busy day, so frightening that it puts me off attending. Even with an extroverted friend who has practically no fear. Of rollercoasters at least.

But that’s just me. Now I want to hear from you, the reader.

• Are you an autistic person who has had good or bad experiences at any of these places?
• Perhaps you’ve witnessed an autistic meltdown or been with someone when a visit to one of these places became too much.
  • Or are you someone who owns or is employed in one of the above places and wants to say to me either: Going here is not what you think it is, or if this is how you feel, here’s what we can do to help you.

Whatever the reason, I’m eager to hear what you’ve experienced, what you think the reality is or what can be done to ensure I haven’t inserted the words right now into the title of this post for no reason. Leave your comments, stories and insights below. Or head over to Information & Contact Me where you’ll find information on how to share your thoughts via DMs or whatever Social Media channel you use frequently. I can also take on board Documents and Information I, or other people, may find useful via e-mail. The address is theaspieadog15@gmail.com. Please be sure to put ‘The Aspie 3’ in the Subject Box or at the start of your message.

I’m also going to slow down postings to every two weeks. So come back on October 27^th for the fourth instalment of The Aspie which will concern… My relationship status. What do you think it is? Active in the market, between disappointments, or not bothered at all?

Until then, I’ve been The Aspie behind The ADog Blog. Speaking by myself, for myself. Unlike Autism Speaks.