The Aspie #2 – Explaining… Autism 101 (Part 2): Reality of The Hallmarks

Restricted Interests

Personally, I do find this category title rather reductive because, in principle, people are not only naturally interested in different things for one reason or another, but interests do chop and change as life progresses and certain experiences either shape or put off people from liking or doing certain things. I therefore think the question should be less what restricted interests I have and moreso, what are the factors that put me off things that society considers “normal interests”, whatever that means?

Well, as made clear throughout this post, I’m not exactly a life of the party or rock that keeps a team together type. I’m much more of a shrinking violet that takes time to get to know or mould seamlessly into a dominating dynamic. As mentioned in my last post, one thing that drove me away from a Photography Club was the generally high standard of work that was regularly showcased in monthly competitions and presentations. The reason why was because of the fact that I was a complete novice who had no existing experience to build upon and even though there were amateur ranks in those competitions, I could not motivate myself nor be motivated to even do something simplistic because the standard that already existed felt beyond me and was intimidating to look at and think about in terms of where to even begin when it came to matching it in my own way.

The public speaking club alluded to above, in contrast, has no such problem because, when I first joined, there were multiple people starting at the same or a similar point as me, ground zero. Competitions there are optional but don’t appeal to me at the moment. But when they do, it will be because I have worked hard to realise my fullest potential in this arena and have the confidence to go beyond the four walls of the room where it happens. On top of that, the atmosphere is vibrant, the feedback is constructive and supportive and it’s always satisfying to watch new people start their journey and grow in confidence as they deliver speech after speech, especially knowing how it felt doing my first speech myself.

And that’s another thing that helps make me interested in the things I am, the people involved. Whether that is as creators, organisers or just personalities, sometimes we are attracted to things because of who makes it happen. It’s why I am also a member of a social club for autistic adults. The reason I attend most Saturdays is because I enjoy the company of most of the people there. I enjoy getting to know them, I enjoy exchanging notes on things, I enjoy receiving advice if I need it. And most importantly, they may all be different as personalities but most share one thing in common: They have a presence on the Autism Spectrum.

In contrast, I was never interested in joining a Sports Team. I’ll explain my history in sport (or lack thereof) in another post, but for the purposes of this point, the long and short of it is that I would most likely have been eaten alive socially if I was an autistic, sporty teenager. My rationale for this is mostly down to how I interacted with other teenagers as one. Quite simply, I didn’t get them, I didn’t want to get them, I couldn’t but usually didn’t want to bond with them or do the things that interested them, and I was often sitting near the front of the bus looking out the window rather than trying to mix and mingle with Yo Squad at the back. And I think, when you’re in a team, you cannot be that shrinking violet. You must be able to consistently negotiate the dominant dynamic, especially when you’re in the spotlight for the wrong reasons. That was something I could never do in P.E. And if I couldn’t make an effort in 80 minutes of that, what the hell was I going to do differently in a club situation?

The final factor that influences what interests me is the impact upon my senses, especially my sense of hearing and sense of sight. I don’t quite know what science to quote to explain why but hearing certain sounds and viewing certain animations, combined with playing those things over and over in my head or remixing them in ways you don’t want to know feels strangely satisfying to me from a sensory point of view. An example of this is Mainstream TV Continuity packages, especially from the early 2000s. There’s something visually striking about some of them I can’t put my finger on that I wish were reborn with just a fresh lick of paint or something. Or at least preserved in 1080p on the Internet. Although YouTube takes a different view of that sort of thing, annoyingly… However, as you’ll see when I get round to explaining what generally interests me, not everything within a genre floats my boat.

Before I do that, there is one other side of being Autistic I need to explain in detail: The Meltdown. But this post is already long enough, and that topic deserves its own spotlight. So, join me next Sunday in this Section where I’ll be talking about what causes me to feel overwhelmed and where I’d always feel desperate to retreat from.

Until then, I’ve been Aspie ADog, speaking by myself for myself. Unlike Autism Speaks.